#17

17. Avoid Macca’s HJs, Red Rooster, Chicken Treat, Domino’s and Pizza Hut for 6 months

Success!! While I was travelling this was probably the easiest thing to do.

I only ever had minor cravings for fast food if I happened to stop at a servo with a Maccas/KFC/HJs attached (as they pretty much all do on the Pacific Hwy), but seeing as I was on a budget and in hippy mode, I convinced myself that apples were much tastier. And for a while they were.

And then I got to the Gold Coast.

The fucking Gold Coast.

I'd blagged my way into a conference for work on the Goldie, that just so happened to be running at the same time as Uni Games. Long story short (which is rare for me), I find myself on a Monday night wandering around the trashtastic land of drunken debauchery that is Uni Games at the Gold Coast, without the ability to get into any clubs. And I'm drunk. And then I smell it. Hungry Jacks.

People have their own preferences for burgers/kebabs/fried chicken, but for me it has always and will always be Hungry Jacks. Particularly the heavenly combination of a Grilled Chicken Burger and a Bacon Deluxe Burger, which when combined account for 88% of my daily fat needs and 86% of my salt requirements. Pretty reasonable if you ask me.

I sat down, unwrapped the Bacon Deluxe (always start with the heavier burger and have the lighter chicken burger as a palate cleanser to end the meal), closed my eyes and bit down.

Just 5 minutes later and there was nothing left. You know that instantaneous feeling of regret that you get as soon as you've done something you shouldn't - hit the cricket ball straight towards the window, sculled the remaining vodka in the bottle, slept with your mate's sister - I felt none of it.

After no junk food of any kind for around 8 months there was no regret, no meat sweats, no purging into the gutter. In fact I felt so good I went to the Cas, met up with Mia on her 21st bday along with a bunch of the old Guild crew (who had also conned their way into a Gold Coast junket) and drank solidly for another 5 hours.

Since that night I haven't indulged again. So in the last 11 months I have eaten food from one major chain fast food store, and I've got very few urges to do so once more.

Unless I go back to the fucking Gold Coast, of course. 

#3

#3: Grow a beard 

5 long, itchy, delicious, disgusting, hobo-like months and this is what I managed to come up with. Pathetic.
Although it somehow looks a lot better than the creepy 'after' photo


Before





After

yuck.